Dear Fellow Uncomfortable Flight Takers,
I must express my, Oscar the American Bully's profound disappointment in the unfortunate categorization that I received following a turbulent in-flight experience. It seems, my large frame, involuntary flatulence, and snort-filled whimpers drew some unkind attention from my fellow passengers.
Allow me first to address the size matter. Yes, I am a American Bully (that's just my breed, I'm actually very sweet), and yes, I am larger than the typical purse-size Chihuahua you see prancing around first class. My stature is regal and often misunderstood. I did not choose this breed any more than you chose your hair color, eye color, or propensity for complaining. I am a loyal and loving creature, and a tireless support animal for my owner.
Regarding my so-called 'offensive odor', I point you to your own in-flight dining experience. Any living creature would struggle to contain their internal churnings after consuming airline food. Indeed, I've seen and heard you humans comment on the unsavory nature of the airplane meals more often than I care to count. The difference here is that I have fewer options when it comes to managing my gastronomical discomfort.
If we, as an airborne society, can endure the suspiciously rubber-like eggs served for breakfast, surely a whiff of natural canine scent can also be tolerated? After all, let he who is without digestive sin cast the first stink-eye.
As for my 'snorting', it is simply another unfortunate result of the flying process. The high altitude and its attendant low oxygen cause discomfort to my large and refined muzzle, creating the occasional nasal serenade on takeoff and landing. I apologize for the noise, but with the cacophony of babies crying and passengers fretting over lost baggage, I imagined my low rumble wouldn't have caused much of a disturbance.
So, next time you spot a dog on your flight, consider showing a little empathy. We are simply trying to navigate the skies just like you. Be kind, spare a pat on the head (actually don't really do this, but I like pats in the head anyways - just not from you), and keep your judgments to a minimum. And remember: it's advised to take everything on a flight with a pinch of salt - the airline food, the cramped legroom, your canine neighbor's gas... everything.
Thank you for your understanding.
Yours, in treats and belly rubs,
Oscar the American Bully
PS: I must re-iterate, I am a very good boy. I don't ever bully anybody.
This letter is in response to: Couple demand refund after being seated next to ‘snorting, farting’ dog on flight